CHAPTER 39
"A bad understanding. She was lied to."
Note
^ V Probably should go through and rationalize Steel's syntax
Ravna tried to read something behind the voice. Steel's Samnorsk was as creaky as ever, the tones childish and whiny. He sounded no different than before. But his story was stretched very thin by what had just happened. He was either a galaxy master of impudence -- or his story was actually true.
"The human must have been hurt, then lied to by Woodcarver. This explains a lot, Ravna. Without her, Woodcarver could not attack. Without her, all may be safe."
Note
^ V June 5, 1991 Kinda miraculous that Steel hadn't claimed to Ravna
^ V before that he had seen the body of Johanna.
Pham's voice came to Ravna on a private channel. "The girl was unconscious during part of the ambush, Rav. But she practically scratched my eyes out when I suggested she might be wrong about Steel and Woodcarver. And the pack with her is a lot more convincing than Steel."
Note
!PRB QU Nuts. How can I justify Pham rushing into battle (later) to save
! the escaping Jefri, if his top priority is the Testament?
!V March 2, 1991 I think his reaction to Blueshell's death does
!V pretty much SOLve this.
!V following related to Lost Time:
Ravna looked questioningly across the deck at Greenstalk. Pham didn't know she was here. Tough. Greenstalk was an island of sanity amidst the madness -- and she knew the OOB infinitely better than Ravna.
Steel spoke into her hesitation: "See now, nothing has changed, except for the better. One more human lives. How can you doubt us? Speak to Jefri; he understands. We have done the best for the children in ..." a gobbling noise, and (another?) voice said, "coldsleep."
Note
^ V RETRO Steel's use of Samnorsk "okay"
"Certainly, we must speak to him again, Steel. He's our best proof of your good intentions."
"Okay. In a few minutes, Ravna. But see, he is also my good protection against treachery from you. I know how powerful you Visitors are. I ... fear you. We need to --" gobbling consultation "-- accommodate each other in our fears."
"Um. We'll work something out. Just let us speak to Jefri now."
"Yes."
Ravna switched channels. "What do you think, Pham?"
"There's no question in my mind. This Johanna is not a naive kid like Jefri. We've always known Steel was a tough critter. We just had some other facts wrong. The landing site is in the middle of his territory. He's the killer." Pham's voice became quieter, almost a whisper. "Hell of it is, this may not change anything. Steel does have the ship. I've got to get in there."
"It will be another ambush."
"... I know. But does it matter? If we can get me time with the Countermeasure, it could be -- it will be -- worth it." What matter a suicide mission within a suicide mission?
"I'm not sure, Pham. If we give him everything, he'll kill us before we ever get near the ship."
Note
!V Again, as a difficulty, this depends on the
!V ship's fire damage
"He'll try. Look, just keep him talking. Maybe we can get a directional on his radio, blow the bastard away." He did not sound optimistic.
Tyrathect didn't take them back to the ship, or to their rooms. They descended stairs within the outer walls, part of Amdi first, then Jefri with the rest of Amdi, then the singleton from Tyrathect.
Amdi was still complaining. "I don't understand, I don't understand. We can help."
Jefri: "I didn't see any enemy cannons."
The singleton was full of explanations, though it sounded even more preoccupied than usual. "I saw them from one of my other members, out in the valley. We're pulling in all our soldiers. We must make a stand, or none of us will be alive to be rescued. For now, this is the best place for you to be."
"How do you know?" said Jefri. "Can you talk to Steel right now?"
"Yes, one of me is still up there with him."
"Well, tell him we have to help. We can talk better Samnorsk even than you."
"I'll tell him right now," was the Cloak's quick reply.
Note
^ V June 18, 1991 Find the correct word for "window slots",
^ V not "loophole"
^ V June 18, 1991 AWK in middle of paragraph, in talking about
^ V Amdi's trustingness
There were no more window slots cut in the walls. The only light came from wick torches set every ten meters along the tunnel. The air was cool and musty; wetness glistened on unquilted stone. The tiny doors were not of polished wood. Instead there were bars, and darkness beyond. Where are we going? Jefri was suddenly reminded of the dungeons in stories, the treachery that befell the Greater Two and the Countess of the Lake. Amdi didn't seem to feel it. For all his mischievous nature, Puppies was basically trusting; he had always depended on Mr. Steel. But Jefri's parents had never acted quite like this, even during the escape from High Lab. Mr. Steel suddenly seemed so different, as if he couldn't be bothered pretending to be nice anymore. And Jefri had never really trusted the sullen Tyrathect; now that one was acting downright sneaky.
There had been no new threat on the hillside.
Note
!V I like this coordination of intent between the two.
Fear and stubbornness and suspicion all came together: Jefri spun around, confronting the Cloak. "We're not going any farther. This isn't where we're supposed to go. We want to talk to Ravna and Mr. Steel." A sudden, liberating realization: "And you're not big enough to stop us!"
Note
!PRB QU Are the kids behaving too simple-mindedly? Namely, if they suspect
! foul play should they really make an explicit confrontation? Or maybe
! it is that they can't believe what they are concluding. In fact, how
! suspicious should they be here?
The singleton backed up abruptly, then sat down. It lowered its head, blinked. "So you don't trust me? You are right not to. There is no one here but yourselves that you can trust." Its gaze drifted from Jefri to the ranks of Amdi, and then down the hall. "Steel doesn't know I've brought you here."
Note
^ V June 5, 1991 tojrf Well, have I gone too far in the other direction;
^ V is it too obvious that Tyrathect/Flenser is a good guy?
!INCON BKG lots of the Tines character themes here (eg, Flenser/Tyrathect)
! should be commonplaces in Tinish literature TUF
!V IMP ID Could have this mentioned by Pilgrim in the Epilogs
!V INCON Flenser's greater fluency (probably just have to mention in
!V the right places)
The confession was so quick, so easily made. Jefri swallowed hard. "You brought us down here to k-kill us." All of Amdi was staring at him and Tyrathect, every eye wide with shock.
Note
!V 05Jun91 mARK
The singleton bobbed its head in part of a smile. "You think I am traitor? After all this time, some healthy suspicion. I am proud of you." Mr. Tyrathect continued smoothly, "You are surrounded by traitors, Amdijefri. But I am not one of them. I am here to help you."
"I know that." Amdi reached forward to touch a muzzle to the singleton's. "You're no traitor. You're the only person besides Jefri that I can touch. We've always wanted to like you, but --"
Note
!V TYRA may want to change in light of final confrontation (fine-tuning)
!V May 26, 1991 QU INCON Much earlier in the story, did Steel
!V claim Johanna lived?
"Ah, but you should be suspicious. You will all die if you aren't." Tyrathect looked over the puppies, at the frowning Jefri. "Your sister is alive, Jefri. She's out there now, and Steel has known all along. He killed your parents; he did almost everything he said Woodcarver did." Amdi backed away, shaking himself in frightened negations. "You don't believe me? That's funny. Once upon a time I was such a good liar; I could talk the fish right into my mouths. But now, when only the truth will work, I can't convince you.... Listen:"
Note
!V June 6, 1991 May want to coordinate this better with the
!V dialog between Ravna and Steel in the previous scene.
Suddenly it was Steel's human-speaking voice that came from the singleton, Steel talking with Ravna about Johanna being alive, excusing the attack he had just ordered on her.
Note
!V June 6, 1991 tojrf Is this a credible response on Jefri's part?
!V June 18, 1991 corn?:
Johanna. Jefri rushed forward, fell on his knees before the Cloak. Almost without thought, he grabbed the singleton by the throat, shaking it. Teeth snapped at his hands as the other tried to shake free. Amdi rushed forward and pulled hard on his sleeves. After a moment Jefri let go. Centimeters away from his face, the singleton peered back at him, the torchlight glinting in its dark eyes. Amdi was saying: "Human voices are easy to fake --"
The fragment was disdainful. "Of course. And I'm not claiming that was a direct relay. What you heard is several minutes old. Here's what Steel and I are planning this very second." His Samnorsk abruptly stopped, and the hallway was filled with the gobbling chords of Pack talk. Even after a year, Jefri could only extract vague sense from the conversation. It did sound like two packs. One of them wanted the other to do something, bring Amdijefri -- that chord was clear -- up.
Amdiranifani went suddenly still, every member straining at the relayed sounds. "Stop it!" he shrilled. And the hallway was as quiet as a tomb. "Mr. Steel, oh Mr. Steel." All of Amdi huddled against Jefri. "He's talking about hurting you if Ravna doesn't obey. He wants to kill the Visitors when they land." The wide eyes were ringed with tears. "I don't understand."
Jefri jabbed a hand at the Cloak. "Maybe he's faking that, too."
Note
!V Related to trust rewrite
!V Maybe something like "you were right before, Jefri"
^ V June 18, 1991 tojrf: Maybe I should just go for Tinish pain noises
^ V here instead. NO, I like the idea that Amdi has absorbed so much
^ V humanity that he plays back his earliest recollections of human
^ V pain sounds.
"I don't know. I could never fake two packs that well." The tiny bodies shuddered against Jefri, and there was the sound of human weeping, the eerily familiar sound of a small child desolated.... "What are we going to do, Jefri?"
But Jefri was silent, remembering and finally understanding, the first few minutes after Steel's troops had rescued -- captured? -- him. Memories suppressed by later kindness crept out from the corners of his mind. Mom, Dad, Johanna. But Johanna still lived, just beyond these walls....
"Jefri?"
"I don't know either. H-hide maybe?"
For a moment they just stared at each other. Finally the fragment spoke. "You can do better than hide. You already know about the passages through these walls. If you know the entrance points -- and I do -- you can get to almost anywhere you want. You can even get outside."
Johanna.
Amdi's crying stopped. Three of him watched Tyrathect front, aft, and sideways. The rest still clung to Jefri. "We still don't trust you, Tyrathect," said Jefri.
"Good, good. I am a pack of various parts. Perhaps not entirely trustable."
"Show us all the holes." Let us decide.
"There won't be time --"
"Okay, but start showing us. And while you do, keep relaying what Mr. Steel is saying."
Note
!V CHK usage "Gold Cloak" v "Golden Cloak"
The singleton bobbed its head, and the multiple streams of Pack talk resumed. The Cloak got painfully to its feet and led the two children down a side tunnel, one where the wick torches were mostly burned out. The loudest sound down here was the soft dripping of water. The place was less than a year old, yet -- except for the jagged edges of the cut stone -- it seemed ancient.
Note
^ V mARK1 March 2, 1991
^ V make this INCON consistent with lack of artryfire right before
^ V and perhaps artry fire in Pham scene later March 2, 1991
Puppies was crying again. Jefri stroked the back of the one that clung to his shoulder, "Please Amdi, translate for me."
After a moment Amdi's voice came hesitantly in his ear. "M-Mr. Steel is asking again where we are. Tyrathect says we're trapped by a ceiling fall in the inner wing." In fact, they had heard the masonry shift a few minutes before, but it sounded far away. "Mr. Steel just sent the rest of Tyrathect to get Mr. Shreck and dig us out. Mr. Steel sounds so ... different."
"Maybe it's not really him," Jefri whispered back.
Long silence. "No. It's him. He just seems so angry, and he's using strange words."
"Big words?"
"No. Scary ones. About cutting and killing ... Ravna and you and me. He ... he doesn't like us, Jefri."
The singleton stopped. They were beyond the last wall torch, and it was too dark to see anything but shadowy forms. He pointed to a spot on the wall. Amdi reached forward and pushed at the rock. All the while Mr. Tyrathect continued talking, reporting from the outside.
Note
!IDEA (old?) secret agent in an old folks home, and some mission pops up.
"Okay," said Amdi, "that opens. And it's big enough for you, Jefri. I think --"
Tyrathect's human voice said, "The Spacers are back. I can see their little boat.... I got away just in time. Steel is getting suspicious. A few more seconds and he will be searching everywhere."
Amdi looked into the dark hole. "I say we go," he said softly, sadly.
Note
^ V June 18, 1991 "a hole cut in..." AWK
^ V June 19, 1991 NOTE: Only one of Amdi is ahead
"Yeah." Jefri reached down to touch one of Amdi's shoulders. The member led him to a hole cut in sharp-edged stone. If he scrunched his shoulders there would be enough room to crawl in. One of Amdi entered just ahead of him. The rest would follow. "I hope it doesn't get any narrower than this."
Tyrathect: "It shouldn't. All these passages are designed for packs in light armor. The important thing: keep to upward curving passages. Keep moving and you'll eventually get outside. Pham's flying craft is less than, uh, five hundred meters from the walls.
Jefri couldn't even look over his shoulder to talk to the Cloak. "What if Mr. Steel chases us into the walls?"
There was a brief silence. "He probably won't do that, if he doesn't know where you entered. It would take too long to find you. But," the voice was suddenly gentler, "but there are openings on the top of the walls. In case enemy soldiers tried to sneak in from the outside, there has to be some way to kill them in the tunnels. He could pour oil down the tunnels."
The possibility did not frighten Jefri. At the moment it just sounded bizarre. "We've got to hurry then."
Jefri scrabbled forward as the rest of Amdi crawled in behind him. He was already several meters deep in stone when he heard Amdi's voice back at the entrance, the last one to enter: "Will you be okay, Mr. Tyrathect?"
Or is this all another lie? thought Jefri.
Note
!V related to TYRA
!V deleted: -- even inspite of myself."
!V oops IMP INCON how to get all of Tyrathect away from Steel here
!V for that matter, you should probably be keeping better track of all
!V of her members. There should've been more of Tyra on the battlements.
!jrf2 [V?] Yes, something to show Tyra's comeback against Flenser
^ V June 18, 1991 PRB I don't think the kids have noticed her as being
^ V cynical before?
The other's voice had its usual, cynical tone. "I expect to land on my feet. Please do remember that I helped you."
And then the hatch was shut and they scrambled forward, into the dark.
Note
!end of p1.txt, now p2.txt:
!IMP for wordcounting: there was about a page overlap here with file
! p1.txt
!V TYRA :
!jrf In this scene<just completed>, Tyra should have some clearer way of
!jrf showing herself over Flenser.
Note
!V contradictions of godshatter imperative in this paragraph QU INCON
Negotiations, shit. It was obvious to Pham that Steel's idea of "mutually safe meeting" was a cover for mayhem. Even Ravna wasn't fooled by the pack's new proposals. At least it meant that Steel was ad libbing now -- that he was beyond all the scripts and schemes. The trouble was, he still wasn't giving them any openings. Pham would have cheerfully died for a few undisturbed hours with the Countermeasure, but Steel's setup would have them dead before they ever saw the inside of the refugee ship.
"Keep moving around, Blueshell. I want Steel to have us weighing on his mind, without being a good target."
The Rider waved a frond in agreement and the boat bounced briefly up from the moss, drifted a hundred meters parallel to the castle walls, and descended again. They were in the no-man's land between the forces of Woodcarver and Steel.
Johanna Olsndot twisted around to look at him. The boat was a very crowded place now, Blueshell stretched across the Riderish controls at the bow, Pham and Johanna jammed into the seats behind him -- and a pack called Pilgrim in every empty space in between. "Even if you can locate the commset, don't fire. Jefri could be close by." For twenty minutes Steel had been promising the momentary reappearance of Jefri Olsndot.
Note
!NÆH: QU better or more appropriate description of Johanna?
Pham eyed her smudged face. "Yeah, we won't fire unless we can see exactly what we'll hit." The girl nodded shortly. She couldn't have been more than fourteen, but she was a good trooper. Half the people he had known in Qeng Ho would have been in limp hysterics after this pickup. And of the rest, few could have given a better status report than Johanna and her friend.
Note
!V March 2, 1991 Pham only one who uses the word critter now
He glanced at the pack. It would take a while to get used to these critters. At first he'd thought that two of the dogs were sprouting extra heads -- then he noticed the small ones were just puppies carried in jacket pockets. The "Pilgrim" was all over the boat; just what part of him should he talk to? He picked the head that was looking in his direction. "Any theories how to deal with Steel?"
Note
!V slight INCON with Pham's claimed ability with languages earlier
!V No really, because that was when he had Old One's help.
The pack's Samnorsk was better than Pham's: "Steel and Flenser are as tricky as anything I've seen in Johanna's dataset. And Flenser is cool."
"Flenser? Hadn't realized there was a person with that name.... There was a 'Mr. Skinner' we talked to. Some kind of assistant to Steel."
"Hmm. He's tricky enough to play flunky.... wish we could drop back and chat with Woodcarver about this." The request was artfully contained in his intonation. Pham wondered briefly what percentage of Packfolk were so flexible. They might be one hell of a trading race if they ever reached space.
"Sorry, we don't have time for that. In fact, if we can't get in right away, we've lost everything. I just hope Steel doesn't guess that."
The heads subtly rearranged themselves. The biggest member, the one with a broken arrow shaft sticking up from its jacket, moved closer to the girl. "Well, if Steel is in charge, there's a chance. He's very smart, but we think he runs amok when things get tough. Your finding Johanna has probably put him to chasing his tails. Keep him off balance, and you can expect some big mistakes."
Johanna spoke abruptly, "He might kill Jefri."
Or blow up the starship. "Ravna, any luck with Steel?"
Her voice came back over the comm: "No. The threats are a bit more transparent now, and his Samnorsk is getting harder to understand. He's trying to bring cannon in from north of the Castle; I don't think he knows how much I can see.... He still hasn't brought Jefri back to the radio."
The girl paled, but she didn't say anything. Her hand stole up to grasp one of Pilgrim's paws.
Blueshell had been very quiet all through the rescue, first because he had his fronds full with flying, then because the girl and the Pack had so much to say. Pham had noticed that part of Pilgrim had been politely nosing around the Rider. Blueshell hadn't seemed upset by the attention; his race had plenty of experience with others.
But now the Rider made a brap for attention, "Sir Pham, there is action in front of the castle."
Pilgrim was on it at almost the same instant, one head helping another look through a telescope. "Yes. That's the main sally port that's coming open. But why would Steel send packs out now? Woodcarver will chew them up." The enemy was indeed fielding infantry. The packs spewed out the wide hole in a headlong dash, much like troops of Pham's recollection. But once they cleared the entrance they broke of into clumps of four to six dogs each and spread across the castle perimeter.
Note
^ V June 18, 1991 AWK:
Pham leaned forward, trying to see as far along the walls as possible. "Maybe not. These guys aren't advancing. They're staying in range of the archers on the walls."
"Yeah. But we still have cannons." Pilgrim's perfect imitation of humanity broke for a second, and a Tinish chord filled the cockpit. "Something is really strange. It's like they're trying to keep someone from getting out."
"Are there other entrances?"
"Probably. And lots of little tunnels, just one member wide."
"Ravna?"
"Steel's not talking at all now. He said something about traitors infifltrating the castle. Now all I'm getting is Tinish gobble." From embrasure to embrasure along the battlements, Pham could see enemy soldiers moving above those on the ground. Something had upset the rats' nest.
Johanna Olsndot was a vision of horrified concentration, her free hand gathered into a fist, her lips faintly trembling. "All this time I thought he was dead. If they kill him now, I...." Her voice suddenly scaled up: "What are they doing?" Cast iron kettles had been dragged to the top of the walls.
Pham could guess. Siege fighting on Canberra had involved similar things. He looked at the girl, and kept his mouth shut. There's nothing we can do.
Note
!V This is INCON (since artillery could set off the fire)
^ V June 6, 1991 CHK use of "Mr." here INCON ?
The Pilgrim pack was not so kind -- or not so patronizing: "It's oil, Johanna. They want to kill someone in the walls. But if he can get out.... Blueshell, I've read about loudspeakers. Can I use one? If Jefri is in the walls, Woodcarver can safely scrape Steel's troops off the field and battlements."
Pham opened his mouth to object, but the Rider had already opened a channel. Pilgrim's Tinish voice echoed across the hillside. Along the castle walls heads turned. To them, the voice must have sounded like a god's. The chords and trills continued a moment longer, then ceased.
Ravna's voice was on the line an instant later, "Whatever you did just now, it pushed Steel over the edge. I can barely understand him; He seems to be describing how he'll torture Jefri if we don't pull the Woodcarvers back."
Note
!V INCON with godshatter control?
Pham grunted. "Okay then. Get us in the air, Blueshell." It felt good to kiss subtlety goodbye.
Note
!FRAG
! Rescue the kid, and hope that something is left of the
! Testament afterwards.
!
Blueshell wobbled the boat aloft. They moved forward, scarcely faster than a man can run. Behind them more of Woodcarver's troops were coming over the military crest of the hill. Those fellows had been pulled well back after Pham's strafing run: things might be decided before they got to the castle.... But Woodcarver's reach was still long and deadly: splashes of smoke and fire appeared along the battlements, followed by sharp popping noises. Killing Jefri Olsndot was going to be a very expensive proposition for Steel.
"Can you use the beamer to clear Steel's troops away from the wall?" asked Johanna.
Pham started to nod, then noticed what was happening by the castle. "See the oil." Dark pools were growing between the enemy packs and the walls they guarded. Until they knew where the kid was coming out, it would be best not to start fires.
Pilgrim: "Oops." Then he was shouting something more on the loudspeakers. Woodcarver's artillery ceased.
Note
!V NOTE: So the artillery was in use just very briefly
"Okay," said Pham, "for now, all eyes on the castle wall. Circle the perimeter, Blueshell. If we can see the kid before Steel's guys, we may have a chance."
Ravna: "They're spread evenly around every side except the North, Pham. I don't think Steel has any idea were the boy is."
Note
!V CHK if you said anywhere before that Steel knew the Spacers wanted
!V the ship. -- I think I did March 2, 1991
!V CHK usage: "[Ss]pacers" v "[Vv]isitors" see notes in c24
!V March 2, 1991 The references to Tyra are okay I think, but it might
!V be possible to make them be even more intense.
When you challenge Heaven, the stakes are high. And I could have won. If he had not betrayed me, I could have won. But now the masks were down, and the enemy's brute physical power was all that counted. Steel brought himself down from the hysterical blackout of the last few minutes. If I can not have Heaven, at least I can still take them to Hell. Kill Amdijefri, destroy the ship the Visitors wanted so ... most of all, destroy his traitorous teacher.
"My lord?" It was Shreck.
Steel turned a head in Shreck's direction. The time for hysteria was past. "How goes the flooding?" he said mildly. He wouldn't ask about Tyrathect again.
"All but complete. The oil is pooling beyond the castle walls." The two packs crouched as one of Woodcarver's bombs exploded just beyond the battlement. Her troops were already halfway back across the field -- and Steel's archers were preoccupied with flooding the tunnels and watching the exits. "We may have flushed out the traitors, my lord. Just before Woodcarver resumed fire, we heard something by the southeast wall. But I fear the spacers will see whatever we do there." His heads bobbed spastically.
Note
!TUF INCON with Shreck's previously described character?
Strange to see Shreck coming apart, Steel thought vaguely. Shreck's was the loyalty of clockwork, but now his orderly world was failing and there was nothing left to support him. The madness he was born from was all that was left.
If Shreck was close to breaking, then the siege of Starship Hill was nearly at an end. Just a little longer, that is all I ask now. Steel forced a confident expression upon his members. "I understand. You have done well, Shreck. We may still win. I know how these mantises think. If you can kill the child, especially before their eyes, it will break their spirit -- just as puppies can be broken by the right terrors."
"Yes, sir." There was dull incredulity in Shreck's eyes, but this would hold him, a plausible excuse to continue the charade.
Note
!?V PRB INCON
!V May 31, 1991 Have I overdone this hierarchy of madness? are
!V all these guys too much alike? IMP QU Too many victims?
!V June 4, 1991 I think it's okay now that you explicitly mention
!V it in c30
!V May 31, 1991 Maybe Tyra should even comment on the hierarchy of
!V madness early on. IMP (part of general Tyrathect development
!V problem:) Furthermore, this could be used in the epilog scene
!V between Flenser and Woodcarver. Furthermore, there could be some
!V statement by Pilgrim in the last part about how he can see the
!V little school teacher and even remark on then nature of the
!V final takeover June 18, 1991 NO TIME
^ V June 18, 1991 Aha: this also may justify Pham not going hell for
^ V leather once Steel's is admitted a villain:
"Light the oil beyond the walls. Move the troops in front of where you think Amdijefri will exit. The Visitors must see this if it is to have proper effect. And --" and blow up the refugee ship! The words almost slipped out, but he caught himself in time. The explosives built into the Jaws and the Starship dome would bring down everything interior to the outerwalls and would kill most of the packs within. Ordering Shreck do that would make Steel's real goal all too clear. "-- And move quickly before Woodcarver's troops can close. This is the Movement's last hope, Shreck."
The pack bowed its way back down the steps. Steel maintained an expansive posture, boldly looking across the battlefield until the other was out of sight. Then he reached across the battlements and slammed the radio into the stone walkway. This one didn't break, and now the Ravna mantis's voice came querulously from it. Steel bounded down the stairs. "You get nothing," he shrieked back at her in Tines' talk. "Everything you want will die!"
Note
!V IMP thoughts about Flenser characterization and denouement:
!V The development of Tyrathect/Flenser should be monotone against
!V Tyra's interests. Thus the we're pretty discouraged by the situation
!V as we reach the climax.
!V But then we see her helping Amdijefri, and wonder what's going on.
!V If I have to clarify things, then the way to do it might be to show
!V the beginning of the final confrontation here between Steel and
! Flenser.
!V Steel could actually ask Flenser who is in control. Flenser might
!V respond with characteristic opportunism, but be unsettled because
!V it is not quite true. Steel could use that lapse to start his
!V attack on Flenser.
And then he was down the stairs and running across the courtyard. He ducked out of sight, into the hallway that circled the Jaws of Welcome. He could blow those easily, but very likely the main dome and the ship within would survive. No, he must go to the heart. Kill the ship and all the sleeping mantises. He stepped into a secret room, picked up two crossbows -- and the extra radio cloak he had prepared. Inside that cloak was a small bomb. He had tested the idea with the second set of radios; the receiving pack had died instantly.
Down another set of stairs, into a supply corridor. The sounds of battle were lost behind him. His own tines' clatter was the loudest noise. Around him loomed bins of gunpowder, food supplies, fresh timber. The fuses and set charges were only fifty yards further on. And Steel slowed to a walk, curled his paws so the metal on them made no noise. Listening. Looking in every direction. Somehow he knew the other would be here. The Flenser Fragment. Flenser had haunted him from the beginning of his existence, had haunted even after Flenser had mostly died. But not until this clear treason had Steel been able to free his hate. Most likely the Master thought to escape with the children, but there was a chance that Flenser schemed to win everything. There was a chance that he had returned. Steel knew his own death would come soon. And yet there might still be triumph. If, by his own jaws and claws, he could kill the Master.... Please, please be here, dear Master. Be here thinking you can trick me one more time.
A wish granted. He heard faint mind sounds. Close. Heads rose from behind the bins above him. Two of the Fragment showed themselves in the corridor ahead.
"Student."
Note
!V CHKd both Steel and Flenser Frag are 5
!V Even if this decision of Flenser's were deferred till Johanna
!V appeared, there is still 20minutes to do this smuggling:
"Master." Steel smiled. All five of the other were here; the Fragment had smuggled himself all back. But gone were the radio cloaks. The members stood naked, their pelts covered with oozing sores. The radio bomb would be useless. Perhaps it didn't matter; Steel had seen corpses that looked healthier than these. Out of sight, he raised his bows. "I have come to kill you."
The death's heads shrugged. "You have come to try."
Note
^ V June 18, 1991 "one-on-one" slightly wrong AWK. SOLN: "Jaws on claws":
Jaws on claws, Steel would have had no trouble killing the other. But the Fragment had positioned three of himself above, by cargo bins that looked strangely off-balance. A straight forward rush could be fatal. But if he could get good bow shots... Steel eased forward, to just short of where the cargo bins would fall. "Do you really expect to live, Fragment? I am not your only enemy." He waved a nose back up the corridor. "There are thousands out there who hunger for your death."
The other bobbed its heads in a ghastly smile. New blood oozed from the wounds that were opened. "Dear Steel, you never seem to understand. You have made it possible for me to survive. Don't you see? I have saved the children. Even now, I am preventing you from harming the starship. In the end this will win me a conditional surrender. I will be weak for a few years, but I will survive."
The old Flenser glittered through the pain and the wounds. The old opportunism.
"But you are a fragment. Three-fifths of you is --"
Note
^ V June 6, 1991 Note use of "soul"
^ FRAG June 6, 1991
^ made a flick of a single
^ nose, a gesture of contempt that Steel remembered so well.
^
"The little school teacher?" Flenser lowered his heads and blinked shyly. "She was stronger than I expected. For a while she ruled this pack, but bit by bit I forced my way back. In the end, even without the others, I am whole."
Note
!V CHK the Tyrathect was a school teacher RETRO
!?V March 25, 1991 You could make this insight more clearly correct.
Flenser whole once more. Steel edged back, almost in retreat. Yet there was something strange here. Yes, the Flenser was at peace with himself, self-satisfied. But now that Steel could see the pack all together, he saw something in its body language that... Insight came then, and with it a flash of intensest pride. For once in my life, I understand better than the Master. "Whole, you say? Think. We both know how souls do battle within, the little rationalizations, the great unknowings. You think you've killed the other, but whence comes your recent confidence? What you're doing is exactly what Tyrathect would do now. All thought is yours now, but the foundation is her soul. And whatever you think, it's the little school teacher who won!"
The Fragment hesitated, understanding. Its inattention lasted only a fraction of a second, but Steel was ready: He leaped into the open, loosing his arrows, lunging across the open space for the other's throats.
Note
!V PRO in the epilog that 2 of Steel were crushed to death